today as prologue

Melting

2011-02-28T13:04:00.001+08:00

I think the only motivation I have to work now is to work for my friends. It has become totally pointless for me to go on searching for CVs to chalk up the numbers, except to display one last good "wayang" show. Eternally convinced that transitionary periods are surreal and precious. Would love to buy out my notice if it costs $2.45 rather than $2450. I will not let R****** X***** earn anymore

知足长乐

2010-11-05T15:19:00.000+08:00

I feel eternally grateful for the things I do not see myself as deserving. A public holiday right when I needed it; shopping and having a good meal; understanding that God loves me more than I realise. I am thankful that I am gainfully employed even though I do not see myself as any better than a lot of unemployed persons. I am thankful that I've got great colleagues whom I face 12 hours daily.

2010-10-04T22:45:00.001+08:00

Its sad when you have unbeliever friends and you really really wanna save them, and letting them get to know Jesus.But its a lot more sad when you have Christian / Catholic friends telling you things that you can immediately discern as the lies of the Devil. i really thank God that He put me in a place of learning, that i learn the Truth each week. I know we need to defend our beliefs,

2010-09-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

One of the most taken-for-granted, enviable things in life, is a functional family.I used to tell becca I dun love her - I only love her family and I'm using her. hahaha!!

Ha ha ha

2010-09-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

"When I decided to go into sales, I thought I would be making shitloads of money. I ended up with only a load of shit."Really respect good sales people.

Take me.

2010-08-31T22:07:00.001+08:00

I've had the most extreme of thoughts lately. I thought life was a lonely proposition, where we continually find new anchors at different phases of life, never realising that we are, in fact, like Tarzan swinging from tree to tree to tree. We THINK we can't live without this or that or him or her or them. But no. We always adapt. We find new pets, new friends, new jobs, new family, new meanings

Peep peep

2010-08-22T18:12:00.000+08:00

I love people-watching.I love to see how a guy and a guy can discuss abt everything in the world, when they are in fact so similar its more like seeking perfect agreement than discussion.I love to see how a girl and a girl can sit behind the said guys wondering how come they never meet the good guys. They decided to talk about who has better dress sense instead. They seem happy.I start to wonder

Eat your hearts out

2010-07-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

For those who have always dreamt of leia kissing.... Well, leia. Hahahaha!! MJ I know u like. :p

Be.

2010-07-12T15:28:00.000+08:00

"We shall pass this way but onceAll the good that can be done, do it nowFor we shall not pass this way again."

2010-07-10T00:25:00.000+08:00

I gotta admit it really hurts big time to feel so alone.Ouch. Haha..

2010-07-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

"...the art of losing myself, in bringing You praise..."

I'm gonna get super cheesy：

2010-06-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

"世界上最远的距离，末过于你在我身边，而不知道我爱你"

Vonda Shepard ~ Vincent (Starry Starry Night)

2010-06-19T01:23:00.000+08:00

2010-06-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

i feel so tired i just want to give You a hug.

Love bong

2010-05-25T20:59:00.000+08:00

Phil 4:13 Bong was ever so quick to remind me not to get the context of the verse wrong. I guess I always saw both meanings, but now its blatant.I love our miss iBong :)

Epiphany.

2010-05-24T22:27:00.000+08:00

I now know fully, what is meant by the phrase: "love is more than looking at each other, it is -more importantly- to look in the same direction; more than loving each other, it is as important to love the same other."Keep it coming..

2010-05-20T17:22:00.000+08:00

Today's church ministry was really good. Inexplicably so. And I keep hearing the CHC worship song "first" in my head. Over and over and over. Its... Sometimes silly when we think of how we played out our youth. Its always so... Inconsequential relative to the here and now.

Busy Busy Rush Rush

2010-05-19T02:24:00.000+08:00

To anyone who thinks that post graduation and pre-employment equates to a life of bumming around for me, i jus wanna say it can't be further from the truth. Its true I already have a job-in-waiting, which saves me from having to send resumes and attending 10s of interviews; its true I have no more exams to worry about, but life is so much more than we, as students, know it to be. I've been more

Overheard.

2010-05-12T16:13:00.000+08:00

"There's this person take her passport photo paste on mickey mouse sticker cannot tell the difference. Then another one, ears so big like satellite. Another one chop off the head put in fish tank look like luohan without the body. And all the soccer boys are so stupid they cannot close their mouths"

Only Hope

2010-05-06T16:09:00.000+08:00

There's this song by Mandy Moore that I've been listening to since forever, never realising that its actually a song of worship and submission. Hahaha LOOK! There's a song that's inside of my soul. It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again I'm awake in the infinite cold. But You sing to me over and over and over again. So, I lay my head back down. And I lift my hands and

lethargy

2010-05-04T01:36:00.000+08:00

the past few weeks has been nothing more than a certain form lethargy - psychological lethargy. you know how sometimes we go from strength to strength, and gaining more and more momentum in whatever we do? now imagine the opposite and thats me. yea i know, its pretty bad. i try to stay up longer to do work, but its super inefficient. i end up watching TV or like yesterday, "Maru the cat" -_- i

2010-04-24T02:16:00.000+08:00

i just feel like finding some good old fantasy books or movies and then hide in there forever. i wanna be gone and... poof. fantasy world is always so much more beautiful.

The Paradox of our Age

2010-04-21T16:13:00.000+08:00

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints We spend more, but have less; We buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses but smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge but less judgement; More experts but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too

2010-04-20T13:45:00.001+08:00

i was breathing air and generally just doing nothing when something struck me. If MLM only benefits ppl who are right at the top of the product chain, then WHY NOT START A MLM COMPANY!!!! i don't believe it can be THAT hard. all you need is just a nice facade, get some silly teenagers to sell their souls to your company, and before u know it... its on an exponentially upward curve already. make

taking the long way around

2010-04-17T12:46:00.000+08:00

God is good. and i've probably taken the long way around just to find out. i suppose i belong to the kind of people who CANNOT be convinced, or taught, of many things. with my kind of people, cynicism is probably not a choice - it is something we cannot detach ourselves from. (in fact, i sometimes find myself so cynical that i am cynical of MY OWN ACTIONS!!) It happens all the time, when i tell

ths is what we all do...

2010-04-05T01:53:00.000+08:00

so today i decided to be totally materialistic, and indulge myself in some unreal "wants", the kind that i usually think its really silly for people to do. (like wishing for a LV underwear, or wishing they had a macbook PRO instead of their inferior macbook unPRO) i went online and i decided to look at .... CARS! I figured... that 2nd hand cars are like half the price of first hand showroom

2010-04-03T12:50:00.001+08:00

A few confessions: I've never been up the singapore flyer before. I went to check the rates and its ridiculously high, like 30 bucks or something like that! Instead of walking away, I instead felt tempted to buy the 1 yr member thingy which makes sooo much more sense. I'm so rebecca bloomwood. I've always secretly liked the acjc girls uniform. I find them really... Cute. I have a favourite

2010-04-02T03:19:00.000+08:00

and still, life awaits... we all try our best.

briggs-meyer

2010-03-27T11:04:00.000+08:00

ENTJ Fieldmarshal or another analysis

MATHS

2010-03-26T20:10:00.001+08:00

some really mind boggling maths that we might find interesting - even though we all hate maths. how can 1 be equal to 0? consider the term "summation from i=0 to i=infinity, of the term (-1)^i " (for the non-maths persons, its means 1-1+1-1+1-1+1-1+1....... forever.) grouping them in this manner, (1-1)+(1-1)+(1-1)+(1-1)+.... = 0+0+0+0+0+0+..... =0 grouping them in another manner yields, 1+(-

from the very sweet blackberry's first mobile mail

2010-03-25T14:26:00.001+08:00

And yes, 3 hours into mobile freedom and I already know what nee nee meant by... "Intendedly delaying fb and twitter replies so that ppl wun think you're a no-life"

Peace

2010-03-25T14:15:00.001+08:00

On another note, it feels totally peaceful to secure a job before graduating. Kinda changes the entire meaning of education and school.

giving.

2010-03-24T23:24:00.001+08:00

i cannot stop listening to this song and really thinking about the words in it. "let's start giving" how many times have we avoided the tissue paper auntie, and then walk 20 metres to buy an ice cream that is of zero nutritional value to us. its really kind of sick how everyone is becoming richer and richer and more and more selfish as well. its counter logic! i want to be a giver. i really

SISED

2010-03-19T01:22:00.000+08:00

SISED - Self-Induced Strategic Emotional Downturn "i've come to realise that all guys sised. its innate. but only some of them realise that they do. and even a smaller handful who have the guts to tell people that they do" "oh wells, all girls sised too. but almost none of them realise that they do, and they are also technically incapable of admitting that they do"

no face book

2010-02-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

i feel pretty disturbed. i cannot take it that i have less friends on facebook than even people i thought have the least amount of friends! oh wells................ then i thought my facebook is some kinda elites-only club, u know? like i have all sorts of privileged access... SPECIAL FRIENDS? people like T r a c c e C h u a? (i'm very smart, i added spaces so that she'll never google onto my

cheryl

2010-02-05T13:58:00.001+08:00

Cheryl is a challenging person because she makes me feel stupid. Whnnnngao.

fridays alone

2010-01-30T03:20:00.000+08:00

fridays are supposed to be for happy hour, or watching some kick-ass jean-claude van damme movies, or dating, or shopping and contributing to society. Instead, this day, i went to starbucks - again - and read my afternoon away. borrowed 2 DVDs and went home instead of meeting anyone for dinner. yet, i feel a certain kind of peace. "Beneath the anger, we find hurt. But beneath the hurt, we find

when will liverpool EVER win the league?

2010-01-28T17:00:00.001+08:00

i'm not greedy. i only hope that we win the league ONCE before i find my first job, then twice before i get married, three more times before i have my first child, and then 4 more times before my waistline reaches 36 inches, and then 5 more times before i consider retirement, and 6 more times while i'm enjoying senior citizen privileges, 7 more times before i cross over the other side. thats....

On many many things

2010-01-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

its been awhile since i blog properly. i have decided to take up a few new hobbies though. like... doing "quiet time" at night, instead of spending my last few waking hours surfing the internet and reading about how things work. like... writing a diary, because its cool, and i'll kill anyone who even dares HINT that its a sissy thing to do. writing a diary enables me to ... well, read back and

yayyy

2010-01-08T01:20:00.000+08:00

its better to make your blog public. i read that someone who has the ability to keep a blog alive is ALREADY more attractive than someone who doesn't, due to an exhibition of commitment. (of cos, ceteris paribus) anyway, i keep my blog alive! hahaha i am so bloody full of commitment. *whao* (this is a secret codeword for a special kind of "wow") if you dunno what i'm talking about, that means

2009-12-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

everybody is responsible for his/her own life. every failure in every aspect is due to your every choice leading up to this point.

On karma and economics

2009-12-02T00:21:00.001+08:00

Im doing this step by step for the non-economically-inclined readers.Karma is defined as "the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as affecting their future fate" by the oxford dictionary. In today's context, it is used more loosely, as readers have often read the phrases "good karma" or "bad karma". For the length of this discussion, we will understand the

2009-12-01T17:11:00.002+08:00

"SOMETIMES OUR TEARS BLINDED THE LOVE,WE LOST OUR DREAMS ALONG THE WAY.."

chilli crab

2009-12-01T17:06:00.002+08:00

Singaporeans learn the British standard of English, because its English.Hence, Singapore Chilli Crab is spelt with double "L".C.H.I.L.L.I. not chili. i find it ugly and vulgar that people spell it as chili.My grandma cooks better chilli crab than your grandma.

2009-11-28T16:19:00.001+08:00

拼了命的在挽回，你知道嗎？

Betterment of Society

2009-11-13T00:54:00.009+08:00

Why we should never educate anyone.When people learn Sociology, they become cynical. 以小人之心，度君子之腹When people learn Economics, they become petty and unscrupulous. 精打细算，乘火打劫When people learn History, they always talk about how good they WERE. 好汉不提当年勇When people learn Geography, they become 土地公公When people learn Psychology, they read people's mind. 侵犯心理隐私When people learn New Media, they are

You Better Start Running

2009-11-11T00:45:00.001+08:00

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you better start running.”

quagmire

2009-11-06T11:42:00.002+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation when you start blaming yourself for every bad thing that's happening, while knowing at the back of your head that its not actually your doing, or that there's nothing you can actively do to correct said situations? Its terrible. It makes you unbalanced, (read: Heider's Balance Theory).I cannot but start to blame myself for lousy results, for Liverpool's demise,

2009-11-02T14:54:00.002+08:00

I feel so... lost.

2009-10-29T21:07:00.000+08:00

im getting used to writing a 2000 word essay in a day

2009-09-08T01:01:00.003+08:00

surfing surfing surfing in the middle of a schooling week.. i always knew there was something good out there as long as we surf. and i came across this.entertaining, truthful, sincere piece of kick-ass writing. she has a B.A. in Philosophy and Religion, a Master of Theological Studies, by the way. Just reading it questions your faith.(if it doesn't, its because you dun UNDERSTAND! Bleah!!)

quote.

2009-09-04T02:29:00.000+08:00

"All we really want is just the ability to churn out truckloads of money with the least of efforts. We see the rich kid asking for money and getting it, and we say thats a loser. But hey, we're all just doing the same thing."

me against the music

2009-09-02T05:13:00.000+08:00

i want to go cycling. Into the dead of the night, into the chucked away thoughts of the mind, into the deepest serenity of the dormant self.I want to go skating. Into the winds of calming, into the embrace of speed, into the certainty of concentration.I am in want of speed.

Starbucks @ 5pm

2009-08-27T16:50:00.003+08:00

A period of non blogging picks its own halt.I can't say that i haven't the content to blog about for the past few months, perhaps just not the motivation to. Ideas are always there to be penned down, perhaps to capture the flowing nature of thought, perhaps for future references at one's past convictions. For the past few months at least, neither was a part of my concerns. I, for one, dun like to

2009-08-26T00:56:00.004+08:00

Mindy and Mock! looking so sweet together.. haha. i think i really got no life.

2009-08-22T13:01:00.000+08:00

a reminder to all Reds fans WHY we're still supporting the team. Passion unabashed.

2009-06-05T03:09:00.002+08:00

如果一切能簡簡單單過這一輩子就好了。簡單便足以帶來幸福－我渴望的那種。

R5

2009-06-03T14:08:00.003+08:00

Somewhere around this time a year ago, i became part of something incredible.a congregation of individual and independent leaders, who at the same time serve as a collective unit towards a common cause. The chemistry was magic, the harmony - perfect, and in retrospect, i begin to believe that we were always going to win it last year - no questions about it. and now i am a believer: that the best

2009-05-06T13:41:00.001+08:00

i am studying so hard i am absolutely willing to KILL anyone who tries to distract me.and its easier if its a manchester united fan.

2009-04-01T15:01:00.002+08:00

i am blogging because omela wants me to blog and if i do not she will feel so bored of looking at her com without proper things to read about and then she will be mad at me. if writers suffer from writer's block, i must have suffered the worst blogger jam in my entire life. i have zero things to write about, and with her looking over my shoulder not reading how i blog about how she's making me

2009-03-26T00:21:00.003+08:00

what if we were all never meant to be happy? happiness -and i mean the truest kind- is not something we can give ourselves. hope, faith and love: cardinal joy as they are, are all what we cannot achieve per se. We can only ever do the best that we know how to, and then pray that someone gives us hope; that someone keeps the faith; that someone shares their love.

2009-03-14T16:41:00.000+08:00

酒未醉人已清醒

shh....

2009-02-25T01:49:00.002+08:00

i have a secret blog and i only blog on that blog!(excuse for a stagnant blog)

2009-02-20T16:42:00.003+08:00

becca dear? dun be silly. i wrote that quote. haha

definitions

2009-02-12T02:24:00.002+08:00

as we grow older, we all hope to see the world with the right amount of humour that was intended to be. i have ANOTHER theory about myself, one that christina would not hesitate to call "another of ivan's epiphanies". i only make friends with happy people.(also see) i get sick of emo-ish people.(translated) i like people who can see the darkest darkest humour, in the faintest of hour. (i can

truth

2009-02-03T02:14:00.002+08:00

when i was young, i used to do things to prove to myself that i could do it. so i know that i could, if i wanted to.when i got a little older, i used to do things to prove to myself that i could do what others could not. so i always had this inherent cockiness in me.now, i no longer do things to prove anything, i simply do them because i want to.i speak with just about enough tact to get me

2009-01-27T04:54:00.002+08:00

its 5am. and i begin having this random thought about how many people i would offend if i start writing what i truly feel about things, about people, and about my limitless cynicism. besides that, how many people i would make uncomfortable, how many i would cause uneasiness, envy, and spite if i wrote about things i did, do and feel like carrying out. and this thought just spiraled and spiraled

2009-01-18T15:49:00.001+08:00

醉了的妮妮有著超性感的眼神

world, hold on.

2009-01-08T03:48:00.004+08:00

as we ponder about this year's new year resolution, and 7 days creep us by, "stop procrastinating" seems like a long overdue and, as such, an inappropriate one to make...xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox(i was informed that X's and O's means hugs and kisses. running a search on it yields nothing decent. what did i say about me believing that we do not know anything anymore - weird world)2

philosophy

2009-01-05T14:16:00.003+08:00

i'm beginning to believe that we do not know anything at all.and yes, familiarity breeds contempt.

title

2008-12-22T02:08:00.002+08:00

the hardest thing about any blog post is actually coming up with a post title that isnt too stupid, emo, or wannabe, or pretentious. its kinda stupid that before u even write your post you hafta think of an title that u needa make sure u do not get further and further from as your post progresses. kinda interesting isnt it? i bet half of you face the same problem (unless you write it diary style

2008-12-13T22:23:00.004+08:00

yea, we LOOK in love. =)

-

2008-11-30T16:18:00.000+08:00

说起来或许有点怪怪的，看着你吃着糖，我突然有着幸福的感觉。

touch-button world

2008-11-28T15:05:00.004+08:00

because this isn't a touch-button worldthere's a lot we want to do, but we do not.because this isn't a touch-button worldthere're things that just cannot be willed.because this isn't a touch-button worldi stopped questioning why people do not try.there're countless "should's" and "maybe" and "why-don't-you's" in this world that we hear everyday. a large chunk of it we actually AGREE. but because

BIG dreams

2008-11-20T20:07:00.003+08:00

if everything goes right..rebecca would marry me.liverpool would win the premier league.i would get into the DEAN'S LIST.if i have 3 wishes, i would make this 3 wishes as well. hahaha... we don't have to survive with a whole lot of money. only hope, faith, and love. =)back to my dean's list dream..... byebye

on cool blogging

2008-11-19T16:28:00.002+08:00

once upon a time, blogging was in HTML format. using altervista or some other hosts. people who keep blogs, or WEBLOGS, were considered COOL.then the proliferation.now, it is impossible to overstate the distance between coolness and blogging. they're as far off from each other as i could imagine. coolness is subjective, but it almost always entails being the laid-back, being oneself, fulfilling

christmas!

2008-11-13T14:44:00.005+08:00

i want to decorate my room to become super christmassy! ANOTHER one of the 3 halogen bulbs just went bust yesterday, meaning my room is one third as bring as it normally is! its quite dark - maybe. but it totally fits the mood of christmas! i shall not replace the bulbs at the moment and try to decorate my room after the exams! hahahaha i love christmas!and i wanna put perpetual christmas songs

november raining

2008-11-11T22:16:00.003+08:00

human to human relationships are infinitely intricate. more spell-binding than the best novel you could have read; more mind-boggling than the most abstract philosophy of any discipline; more unreasonable than weather; more susceptible than any child. complicate it further with wants as unknown to self as it is to others, and motives, and agendas, and desires; discount it with faith, heart,

说

2008-11-11T12:41:00.003+08:00

经一事，长一智我们要如何才能知道自己已＂长大"了？叠叠重重反反复复，离离合合－四大皆空where do we go now?

charmed

2008-10-13T02:18:00.006+08:00

today i decided to take a journey through my songlist. instead of listening to the rated songs, i put the entire library to "shuffle". i heard many of the songs in compilations that i just ripped wholesale into my com, and i was surprised by what i found. i actually have the bloody theme song of the supermega series CHARMED!! (now those telling me that some newer ugly becky or desperate wives

living

2008-10-11T00:50:00.005+08:00

it is by no coincidence that my blogpost title corresponds to becca's - i'm with her now. starbucks, company, ONE cup of mocha frappicino (because we dun believe in overpriced coffee. we shld've just BROUGHT our starbucks cup, in fact.), silent conversations, becca's beautiful eyes - just the calming serum i need in my life.life is all about being with people you love, finding people you love,

positive!

2008-10-10T02:07:00.002+08:00

Be near positive peopleBe around positive peopleBe about positive peopleBe positivePositivePositivePositive+++"some people just can't seem to keep their mouths shut."no one could hurt us unless we allow ourselves to be bothered by their opinions. i emptied a lifetime's supply of secrets, to keep the good faith. i have been, as honest, as i ever knew how to."when you judge people, you have no time

and..

2008-09-24T17:23:00.000+08:00

i miss sudoku on msns with fizzy fishes.

jobs and kitaro music

2008-09-24T16:34:00.003+08:00

i have worked in many jobs of different nature. from admin, to sales, to retail, to service, to F&B, to self-engineered enterprises, to instructional to... ad-hoc random i-need-your-lameness kinda jobs. yesterday at the FASS appreciation dinner, i remembered how it was being a server at some hotel banquet. when dinner was to be served, i totally imagined the lights to be dimmed, the music to be

quickfire post without a title

2008-09-24T15:59:00.002+08:00

i love becca's shop. i'm glad she doesnt chase me away even though i stay here the whole day at times. click on the link and stop asking me what does becca sell. (although at this point of time, only 2 readers are allowed, and one of them is YOU, but still, i'm helping u do some marketing! more will see when i do unlock my blog)i love spending time with becca, although this luxury has largely

quickfire post

2008-09-24T15:34:00.002+08:00

no matter what has happened, no matter what has changed, no matter the imaginary distance that sometimes make me feel like a deserter in my own right, i still love carol. its so ironic that we were once close, and she REFUSING to take a picture with me then, no matter how i begged. (haha) and now that we rarely speak, we actually do take more pictures - to remind us of what i do not understand.

free is the new black

2008-09-22T19:42:00.015+08:00

its been less than 2 years since we started having free wireless in every part of singapore that is decent enough for us to want to plomb our butt down and start to surf. but we no longer remember how sucky it was not to have free wireless everywhere we go, do we? free wireless rocks, by the way.anyway, after a long long time, i realise that my blog is getting too dark. and that imeem sucks

2008-09-22T19:07:00.005+08:00

i know that i have a good temper. but i dun understand why both of you are TRYING to make me angry at the same time. i don't have enough ice cream at home to take me through everything you know? =)stop it already, please?

2008-09-19T03:01:00.006+08:00

When the calls and conversationsAccidents and accusationsMessages and misperceptionsParalyze my mind Buses, cars, and airplanes leavingBurning fumes of gasolineAnd everyone is runningAnd I come to find a refuge in the Easy silence that you make for meIt's okay when there's nothing more to say to meAnd the peaceful quiet you create for meAnd the way you keep the world at bay for meThe way you keep

i dream to know your ghost.

2008-09-13T16:07:00.004+08:00

i would love to write a biography, writing about the life of another person. another true, living, feeling person. listen to her favourite songs, crying for her hurt, feeling her love, watching her life pass by all over again. a mammoth task, i presume? but it is something i would love to do once in my life. imagining myself wiping off her tears, speaking to her ghost, listening to her deepest

没什么

2008-09-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

两年前的今天，许了个诺言一年前的今天，因为你，失去了方向明白后的今天，还是把你放在那高高的地位有的事情，叫别人别想，自己却不知不觉地被音乐牵着心情。往后的今天，是一个不想去猜的未来。

inspire truth.

2008-09-06T23:59:00.003+08:00

Shit. It wasn't until recently that it hit upon me. "ivan? you have an awfully complicated life." I do things that i don't know i do. i don't do things that i think i am. i don't know what i know, and i know i don't know half the things i think i know.The level of complication is..... disturbing when i try to tidy up my life. i find too many things that are too good to throw away, but yet i have

blog job

2008-09-06T15:35:00.004+08:00

i've been feeling an inherent desire to blog. a niggling want. a neglected and expired need. something which i used to do everynight, now becoming a forbidden fruit. freshies and weirdos reading my blog makes me uncomfortable to a certain extent, and i was -kinda- hoping that if i stop for a certain matter of weeks, they would start to deem my blog as inactive, unexciting, and basically a waste

east coast.

2008-07-17T05:41:00.002+08:00

Do not create what you cannot afford to lose.Or if you must create that which you cannot afford to lose, do not ever lose it.It's as simple as this.i spent a quiet evening at east coast park, looking at waves, stars, moon, feeling the cold breeze and hearing the crashing waves. a couple of bottles of booze, familiar company, pleasant memories of days gone days.

the power of it all

2008-07-13T05:39:00.002+08:00

i've always felt that life is all about being totally involved in what is and what will be. everytime we look back, we see a thread of regret, or a sense of stupidity. memories, although being what we sought to create and keep each day, is never enough reason to hinder what is, and what will be. its great moving on, and not knowing how other people are doing after you left. life is as simple as

2008-07-13T02:35:00.003+08:00

"i won't go home without you"

looking at the pages of my life

2008-07-11T05:20:00.003+08:00

i don't like new notebooks. notebooks should be full of scribbles, drawings, coffee stains, folded corners, strike-outs, wrinkles and familiarity. like friendships.but a new notebook always brings with it excitement, anticipation of possible words destined to find its way into the pages, and clean pages. i keep all my used notebooks, but i want to burn all of them in one go. sometimes its really

2008-06-17T02:44:00.002+08:00

its amazing what Busy can do to you.sorry pq.

2008-06-04T01:16:00.002+08:00

if i just throw everything behind and leave for a year or two, would that make a difference to you? rebecca you are wrong - in my opinion at least. the greatest distance between 2 persons is not sitting beside each other, having nothing to say, and the other party not needing to hear anything from you. the greater rift, i think, is when two persons sit beside each other, one has so much so much

nobody is ever history

2008-06-01T23:00:00.003+08:00

this line keeps screaming itself into my head. i am undecided whether this line is the general universal truth which every individual experiences, or if this is true only to the believers. can something that has been stagnant for a year just ... resume operation and TAKE OFF from where it halted. the spontaneity of it surprises even me.trust, it's been oft said, can never be rebuilt once its